you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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