no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think your dad took our porno
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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