I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His hands were made for my vagina.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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