3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize