He is such a slut. More and more my type.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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