dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
