just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
