I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
