The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
