That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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