Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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