We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
