Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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