Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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