Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
another moral hangover. fuck.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
