As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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