guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think your dad took our porno
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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