my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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