I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
