There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize