Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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