Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
