I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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