TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize