we have pet lesbian snakes
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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