Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
