Hey man sorry I got all grabby
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
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We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
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Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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