The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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