Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
