whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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