he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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