hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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