im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize