I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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