he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
