so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He felt like a one man threesome
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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