dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
