Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
