I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
