my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize