wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
