I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
