I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
