great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.