I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.