last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
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yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it