Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
