i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm sobbing to NWA
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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