I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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