me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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