She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just had sex on a roof
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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