He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?