Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.

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  (443): Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality. http://tfl.nu/y8py
  Replies (8) Good night (3523) Bad night (851)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.

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  (781): I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece. http://tfl.nu/l6if
  Replies (10) Good night (892) Bad night (6360)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1423) Bad night (2928)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.

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  (215): There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am. http://tfl.nu/7bo4
  Replies (5) Good night (3306) Bad night (1098)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.

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  (419): Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit. http://tfl.nu/7cu4
  Replies (13) Good night (2301) Bad night (745)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  you are way too vulgar to be a girl

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  (717): Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION? (410): you are way too vulgar to be a girl http://tfl.nu/3shx
  Replies (20) Good night (8456) Bad night (1217)
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  (607): View more from New York

  wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager

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  (607): wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager http://tfl.nu/0mj0
  Replies (3) Good night (1016) Bad night (577)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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  (647): I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life http://tfl.nu/d1p7
  Replies (4) Good night (1217) Bad night (512)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.

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  (715): He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two. http://tfl.nu/vi4s
  Replies (11) Good night (590) Bad night (988)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA

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  (240): HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA http://tfl.nu/oasy
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (637)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.

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  (570): He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile. http://tfl.nu/txef
  Replies (11) Good night (656) Bad night (400)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"

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  (717): They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail" http://tfl.nu/whag
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (428)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.

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  (812): Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check. http://tfl.nu/axr2
  Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (427)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.

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  (330): I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr. http://tfl.nu/4w4h
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (375)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking

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  (503): Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking http://tfl.nu/zd3u
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (282)

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