can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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