Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.