just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind