I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...