1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.