Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.

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  (714): she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt. http://tfl.nu/52xp
  Replies (12) Good night (680) Bad night (3004)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Cure to hiccups..road head..high five

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  (905): Cure to hiccups..road head..high five http://tfl.nu/bsv1
  Replies (28) Good night (4878) Bad night (612)
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  (914): View more from New York

  tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.

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  (914): tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw. http://tfl.nu/h6gx
  Replies (19) Good night (5677) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.

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  (714): He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later. http://tfl.nu/n2z7
  Replies (10) Good night (1057) Bad night (3639)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower

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  (270): The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower http://tfl.nu/ihik
  Replies (17) Good night (7180) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.

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  (859): I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you. http://tfl.nu/a48g
  Replies (14) Good night (5579) Bad night (2199)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this

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  (315): someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this http://tfl.nu/qf5d
  Replies (2) Good night (2778) Bad night (1049)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

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  (763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3
  Replies (5) Good night (969) Bad night (1489)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.

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  (614): at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure. http://tfl.nu/2f8p
  Replies (9) Good night (1845) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?

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  (316): What's life without a lamp shade you wore home? http://tfl.nu/4piv
  Replies (6) Good night (1274) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during

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  (515): She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during http://tfl.nu/5f1x
  Replies (19) Good night (2735) Bad night (808)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs

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  (970): Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs http://tfl.nu/ag8n
  Replies (6) Good night (866) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade

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  (954): You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade http://tfl.nu/kpha
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.

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  (315): He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left. http://tfl.nu/ssuu
  Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.

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  (214): I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory. http://tfl.nu/tp70
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (278)

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