Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome