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i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
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