I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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