i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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