Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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