Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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