Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
