Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
