you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
