Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize