Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
