I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
