he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize